There.
there i am, here i am. wanting to die. narrating my sorrowful simple life. i have a pretty decent palette. i fuck it all up, i need help. I truely do. I stopped taking antidepressants a long time ago. now look at me. I'm a fucking wreck. Everyone's forgotten me. I'm no one, not even on the phone or in the pictures. they dont even see me as a person. or even a memory, even my own family doesnt see me.
or want to.
why wont they see me. maybe im not good enough. or emotionally stable enough. I want to die right now. for some reason, i cant pick up my hands off of my face, so embarressed by my trouble with living. I dont even have the courage to stick a knife in my chest. or to wrap a noose around my neck. I dont even have enough passion in me to down a cup of bleach, im weak. thoughtless and wrong. Im always wrong. no one loves me because of me. its my fault im never happy and that no one cares about me.
truth.
feeling,
numb.
thats all i feel, numbness in my heart, a quiver down my spine as if something very important is going down. my life is going down. down hill.
why try?
no one is gonna be at the end of the tunnel once im done.
no one. at all.